How many times?...i just can't...i can't...

Dear "L.O.V.E. of My L-I-F-E",

How many times must I allow me to react based on you? Sometimes, things get so lost in translation that I can't understand what's even going on in my L-I-F-E. I support you in every thing that you have ever wanted to do and being with you has been an experience that words cannot explain but how many times must I remind myself that the "L.O.V.E. of my L-I-F-E" is me. I get b*tched at for little things. Things that a man like myself should not have to go through. I'm young, successful, not married, educated, no kids, determined, and the list goes on and on. But you settle for your friends and their support system which is built on sand. Look at your surroundings. They have not very much spectacular about their lives but that doesn't bother you. I accepted you [FLAWS & ALL] but my best is never better than the best it's been. I find it hard to sleep some nights knowing that I am torn between staying and going. I've thought of maybe just going with other people somewhere along the route and was it right, no, I was wrong because I know that if the tables were turned and you thought like me, I WOULD HAVE TO KILL YOU. I could never do that though. It's crazy. This is crazy. YOU, my dear, are CRAZY...I thought I had it bad but your moods flip like crazy when you can't have what you want from day to day. I've been nothing but the best boyfriend to you and you have been wifey material with a few mishaps but damn, I don't know what else is possible at this point.

Have you ever been locked into a cell phone deal with a company but it's almost worth leaving that cell phone company for another one even if you will lose your deposit and have to pay an early termination fee? That's kinda how I feel....I'm just being real. I've been loyal because it's the right thing to do and I'm a good guy. But don't you ever for a second get to thinking that I will always be here. Once I'm gone, I'm gone. When my hands are washed, you know they stay clean.

I'm too valuable at this point for me to let my book value go down. People are amazed with my being, my substance, my mentality. Yet YOU are still sleeping...I'm setting the alarm clock, WAKE UP!

-Signed,
"The one you would never hurt"